You might be a Charismaniac if…
- You think it’s normal that your pastor owns the church.
- Most of the sermons you hear are about money – getting more of it.
- Most sermons are based on Old Testament texts, or single verses plucked out of the New Testament, particularly III John 1:2.
- You think it’s normal to give a pastor a standing ovation.
- You think it’s normal for a pastor to take up birthday offerings for himself or his wife.
- You think the “Gospel” is mostly about the good things God will do for you on this earth, right now.
- You keep hearing that there is a huge “end-times” revival right around the corner.
- You’ve been taught that, in conjunction with this “end-times” revival, Christians are going to get richer and richer.
- You believe that the best way to receive a miracle is to “sow a seed,” which means give a large offering you can’t afford.
- You believe certain people – your pastor, and other leaders with large ministries – are specially “anointed” and hear directly from God.
- You don’t bat an eye when you hear your pastor say, “God told me…”
- Your pastor has bodyguards.
- Your pastor drives a car worth more than most people’s houses.
- The only people with any authority on your church’s staff are either the pastor, or someone who shares his last name.
- Your pastor didn’t go to seminary.
- But he calls himself “Doctor.”
- Your pastor’s wife is also a pastor and goes by the title of “First Lady.”
- Anyone related to your pastor is also “anointed.” And this “anointing” is transferrable by marriage, so that your pastor’s kids’ spouses begin sporting the title of “Pastor.”
- There is special reserved seating for people particularly close to the pastor.
- When you see your pastor up close, you get as tongue-tied and as star-struck as if you’d run into your favorite movie star.
- If you found out your pastor and his wife were coming to visit you, you’d immediately feel an urgent need to remodel your house and buy all new furniture.
- But that would be a pipe dream, because your pastor never visits anyone except for a select few who have been with his ministry for years. Or new people who have given huge donations.
- Your pastor calls himself “Apostle.”
- Your pastor calls himself “Prophet.”
- Your pastor preaches that prophecy is for today…but only HE is allowed to prophesy.
- You’ve been going to your church for more than a year, but you still don’t really know anyone there very well.
- You do, however, feel like you know your pastor pretty well.
- There is fierce competition for seats in the first few rows of the auditorium. You get to church a half hour early to secure one of those seats.
- New people are treated with suspicion. “New people” is anyone who has been at your church less time than you have.
- Your church has very few small-group Bible studies or other supplementary classes. Very few people are allowed to teach at your church, except those who either A) have the same last name as your pastor; or B) are really, really bad at teaching. If someone happens to slip into group “B” but turns out to be good at teaching, he or she will probably never teach again.
- Although you’d never be able to guess from your church’s official statement of faith, the practical reality is that everybody puts more stock in “The Anointing” (particularly as it exists within your pastor) than they do in the message of salvation. Salvation is your ticket to heaven, but “The Anointing” is where all the “good stuff” comes from.
- Your church talks a LOT about physical healing. They even hold “Healing Services” and have healing lines. But nobody ever jumps out of a wheelchair. Rather, a few people get healed from stuff like back pain and migraines.
- Although to hear everyone talk, you’d think that crowds were re-growing amputated limbs and snapping out of Down Syndrome.
- There is a lot more prestige associated with volunteer positions like washing the pastor’s car or opening the door for him than there is with working in the children’s ministry.
- Your pastor talks a lot about how he’s your spiritual father, your covering, and your head.
- You find yourself aspiring to dress and live like the pastor and his family, although you don’t have the money to do so.
- You are encouraged NOT to think. Analytical thought is scorned. “The Anointing” trumps all need for theology, education, or anything else that would involve the logical part of your brain.
- Your pastor’s sermons begin with, “God told me…” and involve your pastor then going on to explain how what God told him is supported by various Bible verses. These verses, in their original context (which is never discussed), have NOTHING to do with what your pastor is saying, but they do contain a key word from the message that “God gave” your pastor.
- Your pastor is in complete control of everything and answers to no one. If there IS an elder or deacon board, the board meets only to fulfill IRS requirements and consists of men hand-picked by the pastor who will agree with whatever the pastor tells them.
- Your pastor dreams of being famous and expends much effort (and cash) to buddy up to already-famous ministries…regardless of whether or not they agree on key doctrines like the trinity.
- Your church’s offering envelopes have a place for giving by credit card. You are also taught that the best way to become financially stable is to “give your way out of debt.”
- You begin to notice that the list of “regular attenders” seems to change all the time. People will attend every service faithfully for months or even years and then suddenly disappear forever. Your pastor spends a lot of time talking about how these folks are in rebellion, and how you will keep yourself from receiving “your blessing” if you listen to them.
- You are taught all the time that you are “blessed,” which generally means that you will live in financial “overflow” and have “favor” over all areas of your life. Sometimes this “favor” seems to mean that you expect people to bend the rules for you…as evidenced by prayer requests like, “Pray for my nephew as he faces drug charges, pray that he will find favor with the judge, and if anyone knows anyone in the D.A.’s office, please call us.”
Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list. We invite you to add yours in comments below.
Item 3 reminded me of the opposite problem – those who base all of their sermons on the New Testament and never crack open the Old. How can the spiritual heirs of Abraham understand God’s Word if they don’t even know who Abraham is?
Another observation of some charismatics is that they are ignorant of parts of the New Testament (which was implied in your item 3) – specifically, that the tongues spoken in Acts 2 were intelligible, and that Paul prohibited the speaking of tongues if there were no interpreters.
AHAHAHA! Those are right-on…
one more..
You might be a Charismaniac if…
You asked for a financal statement showing where and how the tithes and offerings are spent 3 years ago—and are still waiting.
Oh God, my heart aches for these people trapped by sheep in wolves clothing… Oh God please subdue these false prophets for the sake of your name and your people. – Amen
I absolutely love it!!
SAD but true!!..
-Igy
I just left the church of my childhood this past summer that had almost all of the things listed here. I now look for sound biblical teaching daily, through Biblically sound websites and The infalliable Word of God so that I can sort through the error and truth and attempt to get my friends and family out. Thank you for putting this post up.
BTW- My previous church met almost every criteria listed and often told people not to work (the pastor has never had a regular job to my knowledge. He claims to have gotten saved at 12 and started preaching at 12. He is now 45 years old.)
You forgot to mention the witchcraft, or necromancy as one Dr. A. R. Bernard, said he is practicing. I guess that is why people dissappear, and he tells his sheep not to listen to them. You are right on point. This guy matches everything. A lot of celebrities are his close, personal friends, including Hillary Clinton, and Charles Schumer.
Very well done…and, sadly, so true.
*You’ve ever spoken to your Situation or Circumstance
*Praise and Worship gets extended for yet another hour of frantic singing, clapping, hand-waving and so on, to “set the atmosphere.”
*The praise leader spends more time fussing at the congregation than actually praising God.
*You’re binding up these evil words in the Name of Jesus
*Your Presbyterian fiance gets met with mild disapproval because he doesn’t speak in tongues
*You go to your fiance’s church service, which starts at 10:00, stay afterwards and chat with other members, drive 30 minutes to your church service which starts at 11:00, and get there during the “preparatory selection” before the sermon.
*You’ve ever come home from church as a child, and got scolded by your mother for not “shouting” or “getting slain in the Spirit.”
*You went to every revival in town.
*You went to get prayed for in every single altar call in every single service you attended, afraid that you’ll miss out on the Move of God.
*You have a “prayer language” that you don’t even understand
*There is a demon for everything, and you’re out to get them all!
*The answer to any problem can be summed up in 4 words: IT’S IN YOUR PRAISE!!!!!
*Your immediate response to “How are you doing?” is “Blessed and Highly Favored!”
(Extra points if you add, “and Walking in My Calling.”
*Every time you visit a church, someone comes up to you and says “Walk in it!”
*
As someone who is searching, it seems at though being in a Charismatic church is not favorable. What type of church would you suggest? And, Monica, about the witchcraft and necromancy being practiced by Dr. A. R. Bernard could you give me a point of reference since I came across this blog as I was doing a google search on him.
Catina,
I would not say that all Charismatic or Pentecostal Churches are bad
And I would not let this list apply to all of them or dissuade you from one.
This list is just some warning signs you need to be aware of that a Charismatic or Pentecostal Church has stepped far away from what is Biblical.
I believe in and have seen the true gifts of the spirit function.
If you want to talk further you can send me an email my contact email is on the about page.
God Bless
John
These characteristics are unfortunately found all too often, especailly the blessed and highly favored cliches. This seems to happen more when someone wants a promotion and more money. It appears that the non-thinking covetous kind or poor people who need to save their money are the ones picked on by the TBN’s and prosperity crowd. It is many times implied that you don’t have faith if you don’t step out in faith and give to them. Or you will miss your blessing if you don’t. But I can relate to that controlling pastor thing, been there done that, as they say, lololol.
There is such a thing as the “anointing” but it is found in 1 Jn. 2:27 and it does not mention a necessity of speaking in tongues, although I have and belive it is a very useful gift. But this thing of per pressure and church culture being the reasons for doing things should not be the motivator for them. I can say thses things should be inspired by the Holy Spirit not by what everyone is doing or saying in my church.
Most people don’t question this stuff and who knows how much of it is emotionalism and not the Holy Ghost! But I have experienced myself, some “charismatic” gifts and Paul speaks of them and mentions the prophecies spoken over Timothy and to wage a good warfare by them. How these people abuse thier gifts and pressure and control other belivers, does not invalidate them, but hastens us to be more discerning in these matters. We must not forget the Bereans and how more noble they were in that they searched the Scriptures to see if these things be so!
[...] the above are adapted and taken from “You might be a Charismaniac…”, a 2007 posting in the blog, True Discernment. LikeBe the first to like [...]